How God Reconstructs a Life - 3 - The Second Door Opened

Conclusion

One day, during a crusade I had enrolled at the Baptist Church of Lagoinha to find a job, I had caught a though flu and hesitated in going to the church, at night.

My sister made a point that I stayed home, because I had some fever. Something however, was telling me that I should go, and I did.

During the service, on that night, while I prayed with great fervor, I heard clearly in my heart, the following sentence: "I can give you much more than a job !... "

Some days later, while I strayed downtown in Belo Horizonte, I decided to stop in front of an official employment agency and read the bulletin board of job offerings. To my surprise, I came across an ad looking for a Mechanical Engineer in Parana state, without any restriction as to the experience time neither to the age.

I decided to call the firm and I talked directly with the person who had announced the position. He was actually looking for a technical responsible engineer, for a work he was carrying out in a nearby town. After thinking a while, I decided not to simply take on the technical responsibility for that work, but I told him that I would only do it if he could include me in his company´s staff.

The following day, I received another phone call of that company, informing that there was a position available in my area, and that I should move to Parana, if it was of my interest, the sooner possible. I asked about the need of sending a curriculum, but my employer said that it was not necessary, by that time, and that he would examine it later.

I considered this a true miracle, because for a long time I had been seeking any kind of work, without success. I knew that at my age, 47 years old, that would be really difficult. God opened for me however not only the door to an ordinary job, but an opportunity to restart my career in my own graduation area, even having no professional experience in mechanics and at an age in which the job market closes the doors for the specialized professionals.

More than that, I would learn later, this second opened door revealed the alternative plan of God for my life, the path for my spiritual salvation and regeneration.

Before deciding to accept that job offer, I hesitated a lot however, because I would leave my sister alone in BH, leave my children and to live alone, in a place totally unknown to me. Again, I looked for the divine orientation and on a Wednesday, while on my way to the IBL church, I thought to myself that God could really use the preacher to say something like “there is a person among the presents that has come with a great doubt in his heart” and so on and give me an orientation.

I laughed in silence at myself, because of that thought, that I discarded as absurdity, although I had already heard of testimonies of similar prophecies. Which was not my surprise however, when, during the service, the missionary said: "There is a person here that has a doubt, whether he should or not travel to a distant place, because of a commitment. The Lord is telling me that this person must go, and go in peace, because his angel is following ahead of him."

I could not believe my ears, and I looked around, with tears in my eyes, at that big crowd, hardly believing that God had indeed talked to me! He had not just heard my thoughts but had immediately fulfilled my desire and provided me with the answer I so much needed to take that important decision in my life!

During that trip, heading for Ponta Grossa, God did, once more, in his infinite grace, communicated with me to send a wonderful message, while I slept in the bus. In a dream, I saw a beautiful sign, in which was recorded, as in fire letters, the following words: “Draw your strength from the strength of Jesus Christ”

And that's what I have done, ever since. I have been living with my sister in Parana for seven years. I liken this time of my life to the Jewish people babylonian exile, right after Nebuchadnezzar seized the ancient Kingdom of Judah and deported the people, holding them in captivity for 70 years.I believe that, In the same way as the jewish people captivity came to and end at the due time, my personal exile will end as well now. I have clamored at God that He may guide me to the place where I might serve him better, and open up for me the Third Door, through which I will be able to lay hold of an entirely new life, fully restored in Christ.

How God Reconstructs a Life - 2 - The First Door Opened

However, God had not forsaken me, for He never gives up his children and He had for me an alternative life plan, which should finally guide me to his encounter and to the turning point of my spiritual life, which was actually driving me to death.

I had never sympathized with evangelical churches, which I saw as a deplorable mix of ignorance and spiritual fanaticism.

My uncle, our neighbor, frequented one of those churches at that time, and he seemed never get tired of telling me and my family about the great victories he had achieved through the church and about his faith in God. He often invited me to go with him to that church, without any commitment, just to check out what he said.

For two or three times I refused, not seeing any opportunity to find there the way out I so much looked for my despair.

One day however, because of my mother's insisting - she had already gave up the spiritualism practices - I decided to go with her to that church that my uncle recommended.

The reading of a biblical verse by the pastor that presided the service on that day, struck me as a lightning bolt. Arriving home, I rushed to my bible to check, in II Timothy 1:7 that awesome verse:

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind..”

I felt at that church a strong spiritual warmness that drew from me a great interest and encouraged me to come back. From a mere visitor, I became an assiduous attender , being enthusiastic for the collective fervor and the beauty of the praise brought to God in the services.

Gradually, I was getting interested in the Bible, a book that I considered outdated and of difficult understanding. The Bible started unveiling before me a whole new dimension and unleashing a lavish significance stream, that revealed the living message of God for my life.

For the first time I felt, in that church, the undeniable presence of God and I could notice that He spoke to me through my heart and not my intellect. There, amid all that people that I before despised, I found the true communion with God and I could finally open my heart to His Holly Spirit.

I began to really seek God, with honesty and pledge because I knew that I was not reaching out to an imaginary idealized god, but to a God whose existence I sensed, not only when in the church, but inside of me.

One day finally, at the church, while praising that true God, with happiness and enthusiasm, holding the hands of the people by my side, I sensed strongly the presence of Jesus beside me.

I did not imagined it, and that perception caught me in surprise, what caused me to instinctively look towards Him. I cannot describe the feelings that invaded me on that moment, nor the happiness that I felt, for noticing the intense love feeling and comfort that emanated of His silent presence.

The Christ who I so much had looked for rationally and had never truly found , was revealed then to me with all his kindliness and magnificence in such a captivating, yet simple and direct way, when I opened my heart to him.

Starting from this day, I consecrated to him my life and I was confronted then with the sheer conscience of all my past mistakes. I was overwhelmed by a great remorse feeling, but that little by little changed into a sincere regret, for the understanding of the meaning of all of the consequences of those mistakes, in my own life and in the life of the people that surrounded me.

I asked then Jesus to forgive all those mistakes and that He saved my soul, for I had the firm determination of restarting my life, of being born again, according to His promise. The immense guilt weight that I felt was then somehow removed off my shoulders, when I felt that I had been forgiven. I believed in this forgiveness, because Jesus, and only Him, was given the authority and the power of forgiving us, when He pawned his own life for us.

I tried in vain to restore my marriage, but it was too late. God drove me on to a desert of spiritual probation, in which my old psychological structure has been little by little being brought to pieces, while a new man's spiritual form was being built up. This was the first great door God has opened in my life.

Not long after, I have been struck by my mother's death, what deeply shook me and were it not for Jesus having reached with his hand at this moment, I could not have born this loss.

Conclusion

How God Reconstructs a Life - 1 - Crooked Ways

I was born in a traditional Catholic home and I used to attend the Mass every Sunday, but our home has been swept up by spiritualist practices and philosophy, through my mother and my sister influence.

In spite of not having ever clung to any religion, I felt in my heart, from the adolescence, a strong sympathy for Jesus, although I didn't know by that time the distance that still separated us.

The negative influence of those spiritualistic practices brought about a quite deplorable aftermath in the life of every member of our family, and we often found ourselves tangled in disagreements, quarrels and frustration.

This shadowy mood, together with my intellectual curiosity, lead me to venture in yet more tortuous spiritual ways, through the esoteric doctrines.

I had inside of me a sincere desire of spiritual growth and of approaching God, but I headed to directions that ironically moved me more and more away of his presence.

I attended, for three years, an esoteric school, in which I was initiated in magic rituals, for the sake of the noble aim of eliminating my ego and the building of a “superior spiritual body”.

In that school, I had contact with most of the current literature on oriental religions, Theosophy, Zen Buddhism, Rosicrucian and others alike, which fascinated me and drew me through streams of amazingly lavish explanations concerning fascinating and deep matters such as the spiritual dimensions of the universe, the Creation process and man's and other beings´origin and ultimate destiny.

Nevertheless, none of those so called books of wisdom have led me anywhere, and neither they brought me hope or have made me feel any closer of God.

To the opposite, I built knowledge walls around myself, which isolated me more and more of the people, and cast me into a shadowy world of deep introspection, passivity and selfishness.

I married an instructor of transcendental meditation, what has got me yet more distant from the true path that God had planned for my life.

Due to my retracted and insecure personality, though overbearing proud and selfish, I had much difficulty in thriving in my professional life, and although I had successfully graduated in Mechanical Engineering, I could not build a sound career. I enjoyed an excellent job, which provided me a highly satisfactory lifestyle, occupying a prominence position in the company in which I worked.

Yet, I did not make my way in this position, and although I had traced a consistently rising career along 16 years, I saw myself unemployed, at the age of 39, due to an administrative restructuring of the company.

I lost by that time my father, who passed away. He was someone I respected and admired, but with whom I did not get along very closely, due to some differences in the way we saw the world. I could not even be present at his funeral, for I was traveling with my family.

Although I earnestly sought for the divine protection , I found out that I had stood back of God when I committed my first adultery, mistake that would still repeat for twice.

I didn't get from this year on to succeed in any other job, having also failed in an attempt of running a small business. In my despair to settling down, I looked for all the spiritualistic resources available, such as astrology, fortune telling, catholic prayers, and even Umbanda sessions.

My insecurity and anxiety regarding my future, lead me to regularly resort specially to the Tarot and fortune telling. Although several forecasts indeed took place, that never contributed to bring me safety or peace of mind at all.

One day, God showed me the absurdity of this habit, when, after consulting a quite respected, fortune teller I left with great hopes, because she had guaranteed me that I would get that much-longed job, to the point of describing the details of the very moment when I would receive the news. To my sheer disappointment, nothing of what she had predicted actually happened.

In my pride and self-centeredness, I did not realize that my life was dangerously degenerating. I had no awareness of the mistakes I had made so far and that I was walking away from my wife and my children, sinking more and more in my anguish, not having however the initiative to change the situation I had caused myself.

This situation reached its climax with the end of my ten-year-old marriage, what threw me into a terrible depression and deep spiritual and emotional misery. I was forced to live with my mother and my sister, and then life lost for me all purpose.


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